Ladies and Gentlemen, the moment you’ve all been waiting for is here….
Its the start of the English Premier League 2015/2016 season. Grab some popcorn, a bottle of coke, an empty bucket (for tears), a chair and a seatbelt for its gonna be one long and turbulent ride as we all show our unwavering support for our various clubs be it Manchester United, Chelsea, Arsenal, Liverpool, (and maybe) Manchester City, and Tottenham (abi Leicester city fan dey Naijaloaded?).
These are the various category of fans we have in this country:
1. The Die-Hard fanatics: This set are the patriotic fans that tend to love their teams even more than the players, coaches and even the owners. You’ll hear some chelsea fans say “Roman Abrahamovic carry Benitez come Chelsea to come relegate us abi”. They are the most genuine fans. They may not know what year Nigeria gained independence but know their entire club history.
2. The Die-Another Day fans: This set of fans will vow never to support their teams again when they suffer a huge loss. But a month later when their team “seem to” have bounced back, they will return. Arsenal fans be like “I will never support Arsenal again till they sack Wenger” all na mouth.
3. The Passive fans. This set of fans may even have jerseys but support their teams only with mouth and on social media fora but have not watched a single match since 1996. Some liverpool fans used to belong to this group.
4. The Bad Belle fans: This set are born to hate. They may claim to be supporting a team in Cyprus or Ukraine so you can’t even bad-belle them back. You’ll hear some say I’m an Anti-Man U fan. Shuooo
5. The Glory Hunters: This set were Mancity fans in 2014, Chelsea fans in 2015 and Who-ever-will-win fan in 2016. They jump on the merry band wagon wherever they see it. But for real if you see any mancity fan ask them what year they started watching football.
6. The follow-follow fans: I started this post by saying “Ladies and Gentlemen” but we all know 80% of girls support the teams their boyfriends support. They were Chelsea fans when they were dating Chukwudi but are now Liverpool fans now that they’re dating Frank. Few guys also belong to this group.
7. The football encyclopedia: This set knows the nitty-gritty and entire history of football. They can tell you the second player that was substituted in the friendly match that Arsenal played in 1927.
8. The Gamblers: This set of footballers are the ones that have high bp at the closing minutes of games. Taunt them at your own peril.
9. The Debators: This set argue football like its service to humanity. They can argue even the most mundane things such as “inside christiano ronaldo and neymar hair which one fine pass”.
10. Some La liga fans: This is a very small set of fans that were once Premier league fans but got their hearts shattered and decided to run to support Barcelona where they know they’ll be safe.
Which category do you fall under?