Say No to Sexual Violence! ….A piece by Cynthia Jon Dumebi


Quickly putting on his clothes while laughing scornfully, Oliver- my brother’s best friend, walked out of my room.

Once again, he had succeeded in getting between my legs. “Oh, how much longer do I have to endure this? Who would I tell my tale to?”

I cried out with tears running down my cheeks. “You are a monster Oliver and I hate you with all of my being”, I shouted after him but he didn’t reply nor even look back.

I have said those words countless times and it had become so real I could only see a monster anytime he approached me. He was probably punishing me for turning down his request to date him.

One afternoon, after I had rejected him many times and he knew no one was home, he had come in with the excuse to see my brother. I told him brother was not in but he insisted he would wait for him.

“Well suit yourself”, I said in disgust as I hurried up the stairs to the comfort of my room. If I had known that day, I would have insisted Oliver the monster came back another day.

Buried in my arithmetic sums, I didn’t even hear him as he walked up the stairs. Probably, I would have thought of defense mechanism or something to wedge myself from this monster of a guy. He was already approaching me when I noticed his shadow fall on my books.

“Oliver, what are you doing here”, I stammered in shock

“Nothing. I just want to feast my eyes on the girl I love”, he replied still moving closer.

Before I could say Jack Robinson, he pressed me hard against himself, enclosed my lips in his and pushed me to the bed. I fainted from the shock but he was not disturbed.

I woke up when he was inside me. Too weak to do anything I allowed him feast as he said hoping he would be satisfied with just this once.

He wasn’t. He kept coming back every week, sometimes twice a week and each time he comes with a different approach that traumatizes me through the week.


With smiles all over my face, butterflies singing in my tummy, I and Greg, my boyfriend of two months walked out of the shopping mall with bags in our hands.

“Oh darling, I had fun. That was mind blowing” I said, giving him a loud peck on the cheek.

“Anything for you my angel. I love you”, he replied in that sonorous voice I always tripped for.

We loaded the bags into the car’s backseat, got into the car and zoomed out of the car park. I was literally in fantasy world, taking care of my kids with Greg by my side when suddenly he cleared his throat and touched me lightly.

That slight touch sent cold shivers down my spine. Everything this guy does is just so sweet!

“Baby, you know what? Why don’t we just spend the weekend at my place? Just me and you with love watching over us. It would be much more fun than this”

Oh yea!!! That would be so much fun. Let’s go.

At night that day, he asked me if I was a virgin, I replied positively and he hugged me passionately saying his love for me just increased and he respected me a lot.

Unknown to me, I had just whet his sexual appetite for me. While sleeping that night, I began to feel his palms caressing me, I thought he was just showing his affection and even nudged closer to him.

Then he started pecking and was about to kiss me when I jerked to consciousness and tried to run off. He then said we should have sex as our proof of love for each other.

It seemed reasonable to my naïve self and so I agreed. It soon became a routine for us with his love for me increasing as he puts it.

How would I have known he would dump me? How would I have known he took so much pride in been the first to ‘taste me’?

Exactly one month after our routine of romance and sex, I got a message from him. “Hey old girl, you were sweet while you lasted but am sorry to say, you are so bitter now I can’t even stand your sight. Its bye from me”

He bounced all my calls as I raced to his house which I found locked. I was now bitter? Ha, I am finished!


I was coming from Tara’s house one Friday evening when the worst happened to me. I was walking very fast to make up for lost time we had used gisting.

Just as I was about to walk past a bend, a huge guy appeared in front of me. Thinking I bounced into his way, I turned to the other lane but he followed.

Then I became scared and suspicious. I turned to run but another guy appeared behind me. I could not think as I saw them approaching me in quick movement.

Before I could scream for help, the bigger guy covered my mouth and dragged me into an uncompleted building where they had several turns raping me.

Sexual violence has suddenly become a rampant story on the headlines of newspapers. What used to be a shameful topic to discuss has suddenly become an interesting debate as different parties look for whom to blame.

I once had a discussion with a taxi driver who insisted that girls are to be blamed because of how they dress. My question to him was, “why should we be punished for having a fashionable dress sense?” We have even had cases where ladies covered from head to toes have been ganged raped.

Ladies deserve to be cherished and protected and not punished for some silly excuse. We are fragile and should be handled in care in every relationship. Do not force us into sex. We are not sex machines!

For all these girls and many more out there who have been violated one way or the other either by the ones they love or strangers they only have flashes of, we stand to make an appeal to everyone, including the males who are most times the oppressors, to say No to Sexual violence.

Article by: Cynthia Jon Dumebi
Read about her profile on The Spark HERE

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The Spark is a youth empowerment platform in Nigeria that projects the average Nigerian youth doing something, anything positive. Our mission is to reach out to as many youths, “EMPOWER and ENGAGE!!!