Nkemdilim Begho Mentors One Female Youth


To my darling hard-headed, over opinionated, passionate, creative, super smart and excited young woman,

They say hindsight makes for 20/20 vision, so here it goes; 16 years of hindsight, of lessons, of ups and downs, of successes and failures, of a journey that isn’t yet over.

There are so many lessons I have learned, but since my lessons could probably fill a book, I have chosen the three most important ones for you:

Be the most authentic version of yourself. You’ve always been a little different, a loner, an introverted extrovert, a deep thinker, a traveller of the road less travelled and guess what, THAT’S OK. You don’t need to fit in when you were born to stand out and this may sound super cliché, but I have realised that in the pursuit of my destiny, there have been many times where the road was bumpy, where I was asked to conform, where there was peer pressure, where the true strength of my character was tested.

I have realised that if you do not stand for something, you will fall for anything, so get to know yourself better, spend valuable time by yourself, with yourself. Do the things that make your heart and soul sing, be true to yourself, put yourself first, be good to yourself, trust your gut (it always knows better than your mind), follow your heart, it won’t lead you astray. Do the things you love, make sure that you live, don’t just exist like most people on this planet. You my dear are destined for greatness and you must fulfil the highest, most truthful and authentic expression of yourself, only then will you leave the legacy you are destined to leave.


Build your tribe. In as much as you love being alone, the truth is that you cannot take this journey all by yourself. You need a tribe. A tribe that consists of four types of people:
a. Those who have experienced it before you and can advise you – Mentors and Advisors.
b. Those who are on a similar journey and can encourage you when you feel like giving up, but most importantly hold you accountable and ensure you do everything you said you would set out to do – Your Partners, Peers & Accountability Buddies.
c. Those who believe in you and cheer you on – Your Cheerleaders.
d. Those who look up to you and push you to do better, because they deserve role models – Your Mentees and lots of people you may never meet.

They all have a role to play on your journey, they are all key to your success. So hold them dear, keep them near and make sure that your tribe expands and evolves with you. Add new members as and when needed and move on from those that at some point turn into dead weight. People stay in our lives for a reason, a season or a lifetime, let them go and welcome them as they come. In all of this don’t forget to live in integrity and service and give a part of you to everyone you meet.


Live all facets of your being: You are an all-rounder – great at pretty much everything and that in itself makes it hard, because life tells you, you must choose that one thing that you do. My dear, live all facets of your being, risk being seen in all your glory. I don’t think God gives us talents that he does not intend for us to use. However you must be patient, there is a season that brings each of the facets of your being alive. Don’t rush, build, put in the work, put in the time, focus on each facet in the right season, only then will you be able to unfold them all.

Success requires hard work and dedication, not just talent. It requires razor sharp focus and tenacity. It requires you to learn each day like your life depends on it and to grow as you gather knowledge. It also often requires you to re-invent yourself. So don’t be afraid to have a colourful career path, but make sure you don’t become a jack of all trades. Be known for something!

Embrace the lessons, don’t forget to enjoy the journey and have some fun….be sure to sprinkle love and fairy dust every step of the way. Bring out the amazing in you and others.



P.S. I wrote about the importance of having a tribe, soI’d love to give mentorship to one young person looking to succeed.

Would you be the one? Apply now

Editor’a s note: This article was originally published in the Spark Magazine. Find the magazine here to read more articles.

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The Spark is a youth empowerment platform in Nigeria that projects the average Nigerian youth doing something, anything positive. Our mission is to reach out to as many youths, “EMPOWER and ENGAGE!!!