Not only are crocodiles present throughout Australia, but they’re also huge. This saltwater croc caught on film is estimated to be about five and a half meters–or some 18 feet–in length. Sure… the dinosaurs went extinct, but with creatures like this still around, the question remains: who needs them? We’re not sure how you feel, but we would certainly respond “not us.”
And what’s more, Australia’s crocodiles aren’t afraid to leave their aquatic habitat. Though the water remains their primary hunting grounds, crocodiles are certainly comfortable enough on land to get out and explore, occasionally clashing with humans in the process. For example, this croc was killed in a Northern Territory town after his presence there was deemed threatening to humans. Threatening? Yeah, I’ll say…
But crocodiles aren’t the only freaky animals that call Australia home. Another fine example of the country’s creepily gigantic animal life is the grey-headed flying fox, technically a “megabat” but large enough to earn the “fox” name. An average wingspan of over three feet makes this creature a truly frightening sight. Perhaps craziest of all is the fact that these creatures aren’t confined to the wilderness–in fact, here they are filling the daytime sky in Sydney.
Now, here come the crown jewels of Australia’s craziest and most dangerous animals–its snakes. The creatures are such a normal part of everyday life in the country that you can find snakesÂ like this snake eating bats in city parks, warning people not to let pets loose–you know, just in case Fluffy gets eaten alive by a massive, monster-like snake.
And even when you’re careful not to go to the snakes, sometimes the snakes come to you. This photo of a nearly six meter (20-foot) python was snapped after it fell through the roof of a charity store in Queensland. Somehow, I feel better sleeping at night knowing that a massive legless creature isn’t going to collapse my roof and land on my body at any given moment.
Even in flight–you’re never safe! This python was found dangling precariously on the wing of a plane headed from Australia to Papua New Guinea in January of 2013. Though it took quite a beating during the hours-long flight, crew and passengers alike were surprised to find that their snake companion had survived the journey upon landing. This may seem like a charming story at first, but I believe it hints at the horrors that these snakes are capable of.
Thought maybe you could escape the onslaught of frightening animals by heading offshore? Not likely. Australia’s coastlines are famous for their surfing, but it’s best you don’t spend too much timing thinking about what lurks beneath the waves. Check out, for example, this photograph of a surfer about to cross paths with what is almost definitely a great white shark. I’m sure he had no idea. Ah… ignorance is bliss.
And sharks aren’t the only creatures lurking off Australia’s shores. Besides the aforementioned crocodiles, which do occasionally head out to sea, Australia’s waters are apparently home to this species of giant jellyfish. If it’s any comfort, it’s true that jellyfish of this kind aren’t particularly common–this species was known to exist but only cataloged by science earlier in 2014. That said, floating into one of these as I’m out for a swim doesn’t sound so appealing to me.
And the list goes on… The reef stonefish, one of the world’s most dangerous fish, exists in abundance off the Australian coast. Perhaps the most dastardly aspect of the stonefish’s hunting strategy is its camouflage–it’s able to blend in almost perfectly with the rocks around it, giving it an advantage against its prey. This, of course, is bad for humans–a step on one of its barbed spikes can cause excruciating pain and a trip to the hospital.
And finally, the blue-ringed octopus. This admittedly cool-looking creature is known to hide out in the tiny rock crevices of Australian tide pools and is responsible for more than 20 recorded deaths–mostly of young children who didn’t know any better. Perhaps most frightening is that there is no known anti-venom for its powerful poison. Death generally occurs within two hours.
If you thought Australia’s wildlife was a bit crazy for your tastes, have you checked out its weather? For example, tornadoes are pretty scary, right? And fires? Well they can be pretty worrisome too. But have you ever thought about what might happen if the two joined forces? Maybe not–but if that’s the case, then you’re probably not Australian. This here is a classic Australian fire tornado.
Finally, here’s a chance to take a look at Australia’s greatest source of craziness–its people. Let’s start small: someone out there in Australia thought that this would be a good look for Miss World Australia, and then a whole bunch of other people must have agreed until it became her actual outfit for the competition. It apparently pays homage to an important WWII group called the Australian Women’s Land Army, but more immediately obvious is how silly it looks.
But don’t worry–if you didn’t think that last outfit was crazy enough, let’s bump things up a notch and look at the Miss Universe Australia national costume! I wish I had a story about what this one is supposed to represent, but alas, it was not to be. As such, I’ll leave it up to your imagination what in the world is supposed to be going on here.
Then, of course, there is this picture, which I’m sure covers a few Australian stereotypes–unfortunately, I can’t tell what specifically they are. All I know is that when I look at it, I think two things: the first is “crazy,” and the second is certainly “Australian.” I also hope that the poor dog managed to get out of the way in time.
Anyone who spent a lot of time on the internet during the early 2000s probably remembers this guy, a then 16-year-old Australian teen named Corey who received his fifteen minutes of fame when a party he threw attracted over 5,000 attendees and led to some $20,000 in damages to local property. His attitude towards reporters after the event is what really sealed the deal.
And lastly, this picture sums up everything you need to know about how crazy Australia really is. Yes, I know that the image itself specifically says that this doesn’t happen, but you know what? That sounds somewhat defensive to me, and mighty suspicious. Until proven otherwise, I’m going to continue assuming that people do in fact ride kangaroos right past the Sydney Opera House–it’s been working well for me so far.