15 Tests for a Healthy Relationship, by Janelle Isaac


Are you in a relationship?
Is the relationship healthy?

A healthy relationship is one that is good for you both physically, emotionally and mentally. One that doesn’t give you unnecessary stress and is, well, healthy.

Being in a healthy relationship is of essence these days because it not only keeps you sane, it helps you grow as a person.
Therefore, without further ado, below are signs to figure out how healthy your relationship is.

1. Trust: One of the major characteristics of an unhealthy relationship is distrust. If trust is lacking, characterised by your inability to believe the details of events or occasions/situations from your partner, there is a problem. Hence, if your relationship is at that point where you both can discuss absolutely anything without fear of dishonesty, you’re good to go, and you need to be closer than ever so as to be able to rely on your partner without even thinking about it.

2. No abuse: Your partner treats you with respect and doesn’t abuse you either physically, emotionally or psychologically.
Emotional abuse occurs when he/she makes you feel less than you are, due to stiff remarks or compares you to his gym partner who is well, everything you’re not.
Also note that physical abuse can occur to either the male or female.

3. Inspiration: Your partner inspires you to be a better person. Basically, he/she inspires you to be the best version of you.
Being the best version of you is not you up in the gym losing weight because he won’t stop comparing you to Beyonce.
It is more about you working on your temper or encouraging one another to reach all their set goals.

4. The Intimacy: I know I mentioned earlier that bomb sex didn’t automatically mean your relationship was A-okay but in all honesty, intimacy is vital to any healthy and successful relationship.
Intimacy suggests that you bond with your partner not only in bed, but also out of it. Create a friendship and familiarity that strengthens your relationship.

5. No Comparison: Let’s face it, social media creates 50% of the problems in the world today. I mean, really, do you need to see the 2016 Lamborghini Lindsay’s boyfriend got for her birthday and endlessly wonder if your partner loves you since all you get are cards?
A healthy relationship is free from comparisons. You don’t compare your boyfriend to anyone else because you know for a fact that there are two different individuals, but instead focus on all the nice things he does instead; and yes, that includes the cards.

6. Forgive: You and your partner learn to forgive and let very trivial things go. You realize that the relationship you share is surely more important than the unflushed toilet.

7. Agree to Disagree: Even when you do not agree with your partner, you are willing to compromise and not bent on the idea that you two must always agree.

8. You are happy: Even though sometimes there are ups and downs in your relationship, overall you are happy with your partner and don’t see anyone else you could spend an eternity with.
This is probably the most important characteristic of a healthy relationship.

9. You fight: Disagreements are a normal part of every healthy relationship. If you’re fighting, you care and want to sort out your issues rather than keeping it all inside.
However, while disagreeing you refrain from calling your partner names and putting them down.

10. Besties: This may sound a little cheesy, but your partner has got to be your best friend. Your partner has to be the one person you can chill with, talk to, laugh with and share your joys and sorrow with.
If there’s someone else you run to first when you’re in a rut asides your partner, you really need to check yourself.

11. Respect: Even though your partner is your best friend, it goes without saying that there are other close relationships you keep (Friends and family) and therefore these bonds must also be honored by your partner. You should also set the boundaries so they don’t conflict with your relationship.

12. Common stuff: Candidly speaking, the only reason you were attracted to your partner in the first place was due to all the beautiful things you had in common.
For a healthy relationship, you and your partner need to share common goals and values. It not only brings you closer but makes it easier for you to achieve them.

13. Who Am I? And if you answer this question with an answer like “Fred’s girlfriend” or “Mary’s Beau”, there’s a 95% chance your relationship is unhealthy and you need to back up a little to regain your identity.
It’s understandable you’re in love and crazy/obsessed about your partner, but you’re still an individual who needs his/her space. An individual who needs to pursue their own interests and make friends and what-not. You don’t have to be with your partner 24/7.
Keep it healthy.

14. Perfection: Your boyfriend isn’t always/ever going to know what you’re thinking so as hard as it might be, you need to tell him. You need to tell him when he’s wrong and what you need from him.
In a healthy relationship, your boyfriend won’t also expect perfection from you. He’ll see your imperfections for what they are and love you nonetheless.

15. It’s Not Tough: If at any point in your relationship you feel like you’re forcing it, it’s probably not what you need; cos relationships aren’t tough.
Love isn’t work, It’s not stress.
If y’all vibe, you vibe.

Conclusively, you don’t even need a long list from a stranger telling you how healthy or unhealthy your relationship is.
When you have a healthy relationship, you’ll know. It will feel secure, calm, HEALTHY and just…easy.


Janelle Isaac is a writer who loves to create a web of options and pathways in whatever she writes, she’s never the type to back down from controversial and mind-bugging issues and believes that all available channels must be explored before a case is termed or declared dead.

Here’s a link to Janelle’s bio on The Spark

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